Dear Vern, the genuflection of your question tells me everything I need to know—I think I can see straight to your heart! The radio choices you composed for me this week drove me absolutely wild. Grrr . . . ;) Did I pass the test? ::biting lip:: Waiting to hear from you.
xoxo ♥JR

Dear Vern, OK. MAYBE THAT SOUNDED OVER THE TOP—CUTE EVEN—BUT I AM SERIOUS . . . LET’S TALK SOON.
xoxo ♥JR

Dear Vern, I WAS STANDING UNDER THE SHOWER IN THE RAIN TONIGHT. WELL, TO PREFACE, I HAD GONE FOR A SWIM IN THE POOL WHEN THE RAIN STARTED FALLING. BUBBLING UP ON THE SURFACE—A STACCATO PAT, PAT, PAT, SPLASH—AND BLURRING MY VISION UNTIL IT WAS TIME. I WAS IN A STATE. SO I TURNED ON THE SHOWER THE KIND WITH THE CRUSTY HEAD HALF SPITTING METAL DROPS AND BATHED MYSELF WITH THE GRITTY GROUND WATER AND THE TOXINS FROM THE SKY SIMULTANEOUSLY. IT FELT DIVINE. A THREE RINSE CYCLE OF DIRTY WATERS—POOL, SKY, AND TAP.

WHEN MY DOG SEES A WORM ON THE SIDEWALK (OR A SLUG), HE FLOPS ON HIS BACK & ROLLS AROUND IN IT. SATISFIED. THAT’S HOW I FELT. WHEN YOU COVER YOURSELF WITH SLIMY INVERTEBRATE GUTS, YOU DON’T SMELL LIKE A DOG ANYMORE. I MEAN YOU GOTTA COVER YOUR TRACKS IN THE WILD, YOU KNOW?

ANYWAY, JUST COME OVER FOR A DIRTY SWIM ALREADY.
xoxo ♥JR
P.S. BUT REALLY, WOULD YOU RATHER ROLL NAKED IN SHIT OR SLUGS?

Dear Vern, I LIKE AN INQUISITIVE FELLA & YOU CAN QUERY ME ANYTIME. MMM . . . YOU CAN QUERY ME ON A PRIVATE STRETCH OF UNTOUCHED COASTLINE, ACROSS THE HARD MARBLE EXPANSE AT CA’ D’ZAN, UNDER THE OH-SO-RIPE BRANCHES IN THE ORANGE GROVE—ALL YOUR FAVORITE SPOTS. WHADDYA SAY? WE’LL PACK A PICNIC LUNCH. MAKE A DAY OF IT.
xoxo ♥JR

Dear Vern, WHEN YOU SAY *MILITARY INTERVENTION* I HEAR *RAW MASCULINITY.* ERECT. TAUGHT. SWEATY MASCULINITY. STANDING AT ATTENTION. CAN YOU SMELL THE AROMATICS OF MIGHT? GRASSY DIRT ROT ACIDIC SUNBURNT BLOOD. BREATHE IT IN. LET IT BURN THE HAIRS OF YOUR NOSTRILS AND TIGHTEN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT. NOT EVERYONE CAN TALK TERROR LIKE YOU DO VERN. MISSING YOU.
xoxo ♥JR

Dear Vern, ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT OUR AGE DIFFERENCE IS THE CAUSE OF YOUR HESITATION, LET ME REASSURE YOU. I’M GAME. INTERGENERATIONAL PLAY LEADS TO UNEXPECTED OUTCOMES. OR SO SAY SOME RESEARCHERS IN THE U.K. . . . WHY NOT SEE WHERE THIS GOES? DON’T OVERTHINK IT. LATER.
xoxo ♥JR
P.S. WATCHING A TELENOVELA AND THE MAIN LOVE TRIANGLE DOESN’T DO IT FOR ME, BUT THE DADDY DOES!!! ;) JUST SAYIN’.

Dear Vern, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS RULE. OF. LAW. DOES IT NEED STRICT ENFORCEMENT? ::SHARPENING TALONS:: WHAT’S YOUR PLEASURE VERN? HIT ME BACK SOON.
xoxo ♥JR

Dear Vern, IF YOU ASK ME, MASKS ARE LIKE PANTS. DON’T TEASE ME WITH THAT BULGE.
GIVE THAT OOZING PROBOSCIS SOME AIR.
xoxo ♥JR

Dear Vern, WILL YOU OR WILL YOU NOT DEPLOY HANDS ON MY BODY? WAITING IS SOO HARD. STILL A FAN BUT LIKE GETTING A LITTLE JEALOUS HERE, DADDY. ::SLOPPY SLURPY KISSES::
xoxo ♥JR